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If you walk into any packed Black hair salon or Black barbershop on a Saturday and ask “What are your thoughts and feelings about anal sex? You’ll probably find a few sistas whose ambivalence about the subject may bloom from a lack of interest and/or education.
You might encounter a couple who enjoy it, are well studied about it, and are vocal in regards to the pleasure principle of it.
Ass it turns out (pun fully intended), all kinds of people are doing it: White girls, Black women, Christians, atheists, gays, straights. But not only is anal sex something that many people from various walks of life engage in; it’s an activity that many women and men love, and some even prefer over vaginal sex, as a path to sexual satisfaction and physical pleasure.
Girlfriends are doing it to their boyfriends (it’s called pegging). With so many people from diverse walks of life participating in anal play, why is it still taboo in the Black heterosexual community?
The precis: We're all having more sex, and more kinds of sex than ever before, and we're getting sexually active at younger ages. Anal sex outscored cunnilingus." [You can read the data for yourself if you don't believe it: Table 5, Pages 357-8.]"What could explain this? I can't see how it would be anything but very painful, and I'd prefer not to find out just the wildest sexual fantasy of every single man in the world.
But the "big story," as Slate writer William Saletan puts it, is anal sex! One-third of these women say they've done it in the last month. If anything, they're probably understating the truth."So, he wonders, what's the deal? In the hopes of answering that question, he checks out the orgasm data and finds: "Among women who had vaginal sex in their last encounter, the percentage who said they reached orgasm was 65. Plenty of the guys I've dated, who seem to have healthy libidos and to be liberal thinkers about sexuality, were not into it.
Or are our views of anal sex, and hesitancy around publicly owning its pleasurable aspects, possibly reinforced by rape culture?
(After all, we live in a culture where rape and sexual violence are as common as the rain, and our community—and the media—often condones, excuses, and in many cases perpetuates the idea that women need to be taught how to avoid rape instead of teaching men not to rape.) All of these factors and more are at play in varying degrees; they all aid in perpetuating the idea that Black women and men don’t or can’t enjoy this facet of our sexuality.
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